Here I am in the city of my dreams; where streets light at night and the mornings seem ever so dark. Birds chant under stars and disappear at the beckoning of the sun. Here, wine taste sweeter the older it gets and the duller my tongue can get its taste. Love finds me quick but leaves me more empty and ever searching. This kind I have scarcely been acquainted with, sending pricking trickles down every body part but the heart. "But what does it matter, so long as you are never alone"- he speaks on as I ponder at the voice I hear in silence, and father's face I see in my sleep.
Friends flock around me like chicks around the mother hen. They sing my praise to the tune of - Another round for the table! Titles and accolades drop at my every commanding gesture. "The prince, the prince!" - Echoes the greeting shout of strangers on the streets as I stroll down to pleasure alley. "For beauty, you are truly beautiful" - Sounds the voice of a nightingale upon whose breast my head lay and into whose palms my coins dropped. We catch the smoke in pipes of glass and start a fire in bowls of flesh. High we go and higher we get yet never reaching the hight I so desperately seek. I rediscover myself every passing night but lose every version by morning break. "Well, why worry? Just keep that uncomfortable old self quiet. It is spoiling the fun"- he commands yet again.
Time here passes fast and faster still are feet that run to mischief. My wealth never seems to exhaust the different ways of being spent; stretching to its limits in trying every pleasure unfulfilled and doubling on those unsatisfied. With the last of my pennies able to buy all my heart's content but time, I drown my strength in wanton. What manner of life, where happiness is short-lived and desires though in abundance always end unsatisfied. "This could never end you know... all you need is more money"- I hear the voice that of late has kept me on a ledge.
I count nothing but my losses till hunger awakens me to an early dawn. "How did I get here?" - The circumstances of my moment I question but deny the reality thereof. "What do I do now?" - The answer seems obvious but harder to follow. "Oh!! Just get more money... and by any means, get it!"- he speaks on. "No"- I defy that voice for the first time in years, denying to let my mind wonder into more mischievous possibilities. "Work! I must work and make enough money to spend again"- a thing easier said than done. "This life is so sweet can't be let to end so short"- was it him or was it me still denying the obvious?- That this life provides countless possible highways but ends having taken you no where.
My dream city starts to lose colour as struggles arise like hungry pythons and poverty like an armed man. Friends disappear and titles hold more of a mockery than praise. Love heartily promised I realise lost it's way to my face. I work harder and harder but the more I labour the lesser I get filled. Even the swines in the sty enjoy to their content the husk I so earnestly crave. Alone, quarantined and abandoned to ponder on the voice in silence I so often shut down. "Son! That way seems right but it's end is destruction." The truth I would not listen to, clearer and clearer with every pang of hunger. I was never happier, never fuller, never more content, never surer, never wealthier and never more loved than in my father's home.
Home! Home!... Home, where I was covered in the warmth of my father's loving protection, compassion and care. Home, away from the deception and trap of this evil city. Home, where even servants feed to their fill and have plenty to spare. Servants! - A thought so loud it almost shoke me back to my senses. "The prince! Remember how they called you"- just another obstruction in my line of thoughts.
"What are you standing there idling for? Get back to work." - The voice of my master rings in the air. Master? I think it over and tears run down my sunken cheek as I wonder how a prince became slave to a swine owner. I walk barefoot through the mud and unto him, battered but bold. "In my father's house there are many mansions, possessions and servants. I may know little of my father's wealth but with his love I am well acquainted." - I finally speak up. "What father? If you had such kind of a father, what are you doing here in shame scrambling for husks with my pigs?" - He lashed at me. Like light breaking through the dawning sky I come alive. "You are right!... What I'm I doing here?... I am going back to my father" - I state my resolve as I stand tall in his face. "I will tell him, I have sinned before him and heaven. I have wasted my privilege of sonship. I will plead he take me back as a servant. Everything may fail but my father's love never fails." - And with that I turned my back on the city of my dreams. "If you go, never come back!" - Master shouted. I cared for nothing for he would be my master no more.
I walk day and night, under hot and cold; no opposition strong enough to break my resolve. My strides quicken as I draw in sight closer and closer to home. My eyes are blurred by tears and the dust that gathers in the air. Who comes to me from home? Who is that I see running to me as I run towards home? Father! Could that be? "But why?" I would recognize his face from space. But why does he smile? Why does he cry? My feet grow wearier and heavier as he draws closer. "Son! My son is back!" - He cries out. My knees give way, my tears loose all restrain and I falling to ground, with he just in time to catch me within father's arms. With no space to put in rehearsed words, to make my plea to forgive, love enveloped me unconditionally; not a servant as I sought but as son as I was of old. "Father!!" - I could only cry. "My son was dead and now alive, lost and now found. Put on him the robe and let his finger bare the ring. Make merry with me for my son is back." - Father commands the servants, kissing my face and my tears along with it. Oh! Would God that I understood this manner of love.